I guess it’s been a few weeks between posts, huh? Longer than I normally like to go, especially when there’s been so much going on that an overly smug serial issue mocker like myself should be swinging at harder than Chris Gayle at rank long hop. Or possibly a cute reporter.

No, I agree, that was a stupid analogy.

International terrorism continues to be the scourge of Europe, Donald Trump continues to make an arse (I suppose the American spelling would be ass, but I wanted to disambiguate that I mean to compare him to a rectum rather than a donkey) of himself and America by extension (Yes, okay #NotAllAmericans), England strives constantly to prove that it comprehensively sucks at everything from soccer to international politics (#YesAllEngland) and Australia has finally managed to elect a federal government. Sort of.

Well, okay yes. I let a few full tosses through to the keeper. Shut up. I’ve been a little distracted by the fact that for the fourth time in less than two years, I’m looking for a new job. Only this time it’s a brand new city with even less social networks than usual. It’s kind of a big deal.

So I’ll simply sum up the last two months by declaring myself to be thoroughly over democracy.

I mean, what the hell? America is perilously close to voting itself out of being taken seriously by anyone for the next three years, apart from the fact that if we don’t take them seriously Trump may well start World War Three and Four before anyone has a chance to put a plastic bag over his head. And even if Trump loses, that means Hillary Clinton wins, which is only a victory for the lesser of two evils really. I don’t see anything good coming out that whole messed up situation. Seriously America. You’ve been at this for two years! These are the best of all possible candidates you could come up with? Strike one for democracy.

Great Britain has already voted itself out of being taken seriously by anyone, with the only upside being that once Scotland bails from the United Kingdom, the argument for Australia remaining part of the monarchy starts to look pretty dumb. Bring on the republic. With the only reasonable motives for Brexit having been isolationism, hard right nationalism and flat-out racism, that’s another strike against democracy. And when your country is being called racist and xenophobic BY AUSTRALIANS you might start to think your entire country really as is stupid as we all think it is. Doo be dooo be dum. Right.

Strike three? Right here at home. HOW IN THE UNHOLY BLAZES OF OBLIVION ITSELF DID PAULINE HANSON WIN A SENATE SEAT?

I had a whole post planned about laughing and trolling the how-to-vote pamphlet spruikers who beset unwary voters outside polling stations like seagulls outside a fish and chip shop ( I may still write that one. Maybe) but unfortunately the lynch pin of my article was making fun of the Greens campaigner whose rationale for why I should vote green was that if I didn’t, One Nation might get a senate seat. I thought it would make a fantastic slogan for them. The Greens: Slightly more popular than Pauline Hanson. Only now it turns out the little pamphlet monkey was right. I don’t... what? How? Jegekkai,… aksddaiopdjgaio…. Kaaaaaaaaahn.  WHAT THE HELL?

Yes okay. That was a little more than a quick summary. It turns out I had whole blog post in me after all. So there you have it. I’m unemployed, disillusioned, fed-up and I hate democracy. What could possibly go wrong?

Make of that what you will.

Garry with 2 Rs

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