We all have our vices: those things that we know are either useless or bad for us, but which we just can’t get enough of.

Chief among mine are James Bond films: I love them, but I don’t know why. I’m so pumped for the new one in November (Q is back! Yes!). The characters are shallow; the plots are either ridiculous or non-existent, the portrayals of both masculinity and feminity belong squarely in a different millennium and to top it all off – he’s English. But I still love a good Bond film. Even a bad one can make me smile.

I could spend a whole post discussing why, but I don’t intend to do that this time around. This post is dedicated to the peculiar cultural observations I made during last week's concert by the Darwin Symphony Orchestra.

The concert was all the best music from Bond films: Goldfinger, Thunderball, The Spy Who Loved Me, they were all there, right alongside the immortal theme tune, obviously. The concert was awesome, with flyovers, Aston Martins and a conductor dressed as Blofeld, complete with stuffed cat. I was in my element, but I was mildly disturbed by the conversations I had to have with the friends I was there with, who admittedly were a bit younger than me but who should still have known better.

F1: I don’t even know how the James Bond song goes (Turns out she’s only seen Casino Royale)
Gw2Rs: What?
F2: Everyone knows how it goes: duh-duh-doooooo, duh-duh-dooo, duh-duh…
Gw2Rs: That’s the Mission: Impossible Theme.
F2: Oh. How does James Bond go?

MC: (describes the plot of Goldfinger, with special emphasis on the SPECTRE lair)
F1: That sounds a lot like the lair from Austin Powers.
Gw2Rs: Does it really?

F2: What did he say the character’s name was?
Gw2Rs:… Pussy Galore
F1: Really? That’s ridiculous.
Gw2Rs: …

F1: How come they’re playing the LJ Hooker ad?
Gw2Rs: It’s … you … ugh.

Needless to say, I have now added over twenty more titles to the list of films that I have to sit down and watch with these kids. But given that F1 fell asleep during the Matrix (how is that even possible? The gun shots alone…) I find I have no choice but to give in to sub-cultural despair, consoled only by the fact that, even if no-one else is, at least I’m still awesome.

Make of that what you will



With 2 Rs – Garry with 2 Rs

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