Personality quizzes don’t work on me.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a Myers-Briggs test in a psychology textbook or a “What flavour paddle-pop are you?” quiz on Facebook; they don’t work on me.

Usually they either end up telling me I’m simultaneously extroverted and introverted, calm, manic, leader, follower, quiet and loud and upside down, or that I’m rainbow flavoured when I’m obviously the choc-banana one. Even classical astrology can’t make up its mind whether I’m Gemini, Cancer or Asparagus.

This is part of the reason why I get so upset about it when I apply for jobs and have to do an online aptitude test first. I have absolutely no confidence in the ability of a computer to understand who I am based on a thirty question quiz. Human beings have been trying this for thirty years and haven’t really gotten anywhere.

Well, I guess there’s at least one person who has some vague idea what’s going on here.

Kim and I registered for some pre-marital counseling this week. We’re meeting with a minister to get some guidance on what stuff we need to sort out before August, which seems a wise idea since it’s ONLY THREE FREAKING MONTHS AWAY!


You can imagine my enthusiasm when the minister told me that first step in the guidance process was to fill out an online questionnaire to compare my approach to the universe to Kim’s and decide what we need to be talking about.

It was a great success, after we’d both entered all our answers and submitted the test, we had a long, deep and powerful conversation. Finally we agreed: Online personality tests are stupid.

We haven’t got the marriage prep survey results back yet, but I’m pretty sure the computer will be okay with us getting married. If not, I’m sure we’ll have a very open, honest, emotive and defenestrative discussion with the computer.

I feel better already.


Garry with 2 Rs

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